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Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

Posted by gottabkd on Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

pants-on-fire v150

As children , we probably all remember the “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!” phrase. We even probably said it from time to time. We usually said it to shame those people we caught lying, into telling the truth or at the very least, hopefully shame them into realizing that lying is not cool.

Seems that lying is the norm these days. Everyone apparently is doing it. Politicians do it all the time and they wonder why it’s such a big deal. They say stuff like “It was for the good of the country” to justify their lying words…

More and more people seem to be doing it and more and more people seem to think doing it, is OK. Everything from the little white lies all the way down to the bold faced I know I am doing it but I can’t help myself kinda lie.

Photo: iStockphoto

I really despise liars. I mean I really, really, really despise them.

Especially when you catch them in a lie. It’s like catching a kid with his hand in the candy jar… they know they are not supposed to be in there, yet they just can’t seem to be able to help themselves. Yet when they get caught, they suddenly dismiss you as if you are the one who is doing the lie. Basically they can’t handle it and feel the easiest way out is to make you feel like you’re the guilty one.

I have noticed that even the little white lies seem to be happening with greater abundance these days. You know the ones I mean, the ones that the person believes “isn’t hurting anyone” or is “saving them” from something else. Usually incorrectly perceived pain, either physical or emotional, but still pain none-the-less. But it is the liar who perceives this, not the one being lied to. Interesting. I think they are saving themselves the pain of having to explain their lying ways, hmmmm.

Why can some people spend every waking moment telling lies? And why do they think it is OK to do just that? Who are they kidding?

It’s been my experience that liars learn their devious ways as a result of their past experiences. bullshit Negative reactions to what they believe are positive explanations. They may be telling the truth, yet they still receive a negative “not a banner making” reaction that is expected from telling the truth; which tells them “next time I will lie just to avoid that” because look what telling the truth got me!?!?

When I was a kid Ok that was a looong time ago, but I still remember I would watch how other people would lie about certain things in hopes that their quick excuses, uhem lie, would “get them off the crime” they had just been caught committing. Inevitably though, even if their lie worked in that particular moment, I noticed that when the truth was finally revealed, the consequences were much greater than if they had told the truth in the first place. They were grounded longer, lost certain privileges longer and basically learned that lying is not the way to go.


However….

Some of these people grow up to be the liar of all liars. The type that sees nothing wrong with lying. They have learned that even when they do tell the truth, trouble still happens and they can’t handle that. So they continue to lie. They then figure that it is better to omit pertinent details when explaining themselves because they figure if you don’t talk about it, then it is not really a lie. Um… hello!! Lying by omission is still a lie I mean seriously now… when the WHOLE truth is finally revealed it’s still a lie!!

So my question to you is this:

“When is it OK to lie?” And “who is it OK to lie to?” Anyone? No one? Children so they do not get physically hurt? Who? When?

Just pondering the thought….

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9 Responses to “Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!”

  1. […] gottabkd ’s site is fantastic! I thought I’d share the latest post on the site which grabbed my attention: Liar, Liar Pants on Fire! […]

  2. Anonymous said

    It is not good to lie at anytime, to anyone because it becomes a slippery slope striaght down to the bottom of the doodoo pile.

    I always wonder about people who never learn that the “Truth will set them free”. Some people however have no conscience and therefore continue to lie.

    Just because everyone does it, doesn’t make it right. What ever happened to integrity and respect for self and others?

  3. gottabkd said

    So very true Anonymous.
    The way I see it, you have to be really smart or really, really stupid to keep your story read lie, and facts straight.
    It’s easier to tell the truth, no matter the reaction, than to remember exactly what you said while in the lie. Eventually it all catches up with you and usually the consequences are far greater than the original lie.
    Why bother go through all that when not lieing is the better option?

    Thanks for commenting and do stop by again 😉

  4. Ken said

    When is it better to lie than to tell the truth?
    People frequently choose the path of least resistance or perceived least resistance. Perhaps they feel that the lie will get them out of a sticky confrontation or the confrontation that they think will occur if they tell the truth. I was brought up to tell the truth even if it mean that I could get in trouble for it. The premise being that the trouble for telling a lie would be multitudes worse than anything I could have done.
    That is what our folks are for and why we “get in trouble”. They are trying to teach us the right from wrong and throw in a little integrity hoping that it will continue to grow and last a life time. Unfortunately there are those with whom this lesson never took hold.
    That being said are there times that the lie may be better than the truth? In the moment it sure seems like it but the long term gains may not work out the way you want them to.

    BTW don’t ask us if you’re fat unless you want to hear the answer. Hmmmm should I lie about this one and take the consequences or tell the truth and sleep on the couch…..

  5. gottabkd said

    Hmmm so let me see if I get this right:
    People lie because the path of least resistence is better or easier than telling the truth? Me thinkest that it is due to lack of conscience that has you going down this path and the fact that you never learned right from wrong. Oh wait, you know it’s wrong or you would not need to lie about it… go figure.

    It may hurt just as much to tell the truth (for both parties involved), but the “path” that is learned is often more rewarding than telling a lie, as it enables both parties to grow up and mature. Dealing with feelings as a result of the lie is often more detrimental than the act that made one lie.

    And why does the liar already think they know how one will/may respond. What gives them the right to take away or change my initial response based on their own fears from past experiences? Silly child, kix are for trids. Grow up would ya!!!

    The answer to your question “do I look fat” is that this particular question should never be asked in the first place.

    Silly woman, stop feeling insecure and just totally love who you are. Self esteem is not found in the admiration or thoughts of others but the admiration and love of self… who cares or more importantly, why do you care what they think?
    Love yourself always 🙂 and don’t let them mess with your head.

    Thanks for joining the discussion… do come again 😉

  6. CouchDr. said

    Liars are lost children who never learned an important lesson during their early developemental stages of life.

    Often they carry their fears into adulthood and thus the continuation of the lying cycle.
    Adults, the other hand, who favor lying over telling the truth, always know better yet somehow believe that the lie is a safer bet.

    It is also interesting to note that liars too, have low self-esteem. In order to build their self-eteem, they learn that if they get away with the lie, they feel better about themselves. The lies creates drama, the drama creates importance and importance is an ego boost to their already low self-esteem.

    It becomes a vicious circle that even if they wanted to, they can’t seem to break… nor do they seem to be able to learn how to change their behaviour. They give up in frustration due to their inability to learn how to change, especially when they are older.

    It’s sad but the saying goes, “A leopard never changes his spots” and “Once a lying dog, always a lying dog”.

  7. gottabkd said

    Welcome Couch Doctor,
    I appreciate your comments. You are so right about the low self-esteem being a factor in the continuation of the lying behaviour. It’s sad that they do not seek the help they need to get over this terrible habit, but to dismiss the other person once caught, just goes to show that they don’t believe they are doing anything wrong in the first place.
    As with all addicts, admitting you have a problem is the first step to change.
    Thanks for stopping by 😉

  8. Rita said

    As much as I dislike lies and liars I have to admit that there are situations when telling a white lie is appropriate — when expressing our true opinion would unnecessarily hurt someone’s feelings.

    For example, is it really a good idea to say to a kid’s mom, “I am sorry to tell you this, but your baby is ugly”, even if you think so?

    Or, lets get less dramatic. Lets say, your friend published a book of poetry. You believe his poetry stinks. Is it ok to tell him, “I don’t know how you got published, but your book stinks?”

    I don’t think so.

    • gottabkd said

      Hi Rita… thanks for stopping by and commenting….
      but…
      A lie is still a lie…. white, green, black or purple, big or small it’s still a lie….

      Now I will admit that tact should prevail when being honest and yes you may want to consider feelings when replying (or you may not)… but… how many truly ugly babies have you seen?Not too many I would think…

      And if the poetry is not for you, then say “It’s not my kind of poetry, but I am thrilled you got published!”

      Honest and tactful 😉

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