Much ado about…..

gottaBKD

Never Say Never!

Posted by gottabkd on Thursday, December 20, 2007

It’s such an easy thing to say… Oh I would NEVER do that. Or I could never do (insert whatever word you like) …. but here is the issue with such statements… these types of statement are self fulfilling. The minute you say it is the minute that it then becomes true and in the future will remain true.

Think about it… the words slip out of the mouth, the ears absorb the words and then brain has no choice and embraces it with full force… not because it wants to, but more simply because the tongue has voiced it… thus the brain connects the words and puts it deep in the soul… the more often you say it, the deeper it sits… the deeper it sits, the more likely YOU will believe it… and well, there ya go, the more you believe it the harder it becomes to change it….

It’s like when you are a kid and everything is new… you want to do everything, touch everything, feel everything and even eat everything. As a kid you operate on the premise Hey let’s do/try/eat this and see what happens…. And then it happens… some adult says No… don’t touch that, don’t eat that, don’t feel that way and then pretty soon we develop our own lists of things we would never do.

I used to listen to my friends go through this anal self deprecation and wondered to myself why? Then I realized that why doesn’t really matter. What matters is changing the self prophecy to a more positive one…an enabling one… an empowering one…. so instead of saying no thanks, I could never do/eat/try that I decided to say OK let me see what all the fuss is about?

And it worked… eventually I found out that just because YOU don’t do it, doesn’t mean that I can’t. And just because culture, race or being male or female says you can’t do that, doesn’t mean it’s true…. it just means that most don’t and not that YOU can’t.

Knowing this, I eventually I adopted the motto: I’ll try anything. After some smart ass friends and family challenged that theory I decided to change it to I’ll try anything…. once. What I found was it gave me permission to let my anxieties go while enabling me to limit myself (and my friends requests) to that one time event should it turn out that that is what I needed… a back door to allow myself an out. But here is the thing… I did not need the out… it turns out I like pretty much anything… as long as it doesn’t harm me or someone else in the process I am cool with it.
I also found out if I really, really, really liked it, my brain (and I) had the power to stop doing it or at least limit the number of times I did it…. It came in handy when, as a youth with the tendencies to “try anything” with full abandonment, that it also saved my hide on numerous occasions. The brain became to smart for the feeling I was having, while allowing me to eventually develop into the analytical person that I am today.

And it still feeds my soul, especially when there are fears and anxieties that now get in my way, I just think back to that powerful day and now say… I can do thatonce.. what’s the worse thing that can happen if I do it, but more importantly what will I miss out on if I don’t?

So what are you missing out on by limiting yourself with such phrases? Share them here.
I’d love to know 🙂

Till Next Time ….. Tags: , , ,

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